I suppose that I should be happy to live in Cornwall, out of the whole of the UK,
It’s perhaps the only place where you don’t have to say to foreigners “Oh, it’s near London” even when it is clearly not.
It’s certainly different to the UK, and all its residents like to think so,
So much so that when filling in tedious surveys there is now a new ethnic group; ‘Cornish’.
Us pasty-loving folk with our festivals that all have lashings of Scrumpy cider,
And our ability to enjoy a swim in the practically glacial sea on Boxing-Day morning whilst the rest of Britain ready themselves for the sales.
We spend our holidays running across the beaches, being pursued by ravenous seagulls after your chips,
Which is hardly the picture tourist companies try to paint of our unique county.
Though we are a rather clever bunch; we create ‘Traditional Cornish Festivals’ in order that we can get ridiculously drunk without guilt,
And our county is full of all types of people; from the chatty elderly in pasty shops to the rebellious youths in the skate parks.
Cornwall: Land of surf and sea,
I suppose I am happy to live in Cornwall, out of the whole of the UK.